🌟 Throwback Thursday 🌟
At 20 weeks pregnant with Hermione, we spent all day going back and forth to the hospital for scans.
I was pretty oblivious at first: my first pregnancy with her sister Rose had been fairly straightforward, so, quite innocently, I just expected the same trajectory with Hermione.
It was when nuchal folds were mentioned, that I realised we were being told something might be different about our baby.
I had no idea a slightly thicker nuchal fold at the back of the neck may indicate Down Syndrome.
We booked a private, non-invasive blood test which told us Hermione did have a high chance of having Down Syndrome. But they couldn't say for certain.
We lived for the next 16 weeks researching and trying to inform ourselves as best we could.
Looking back, I think these weeks were the first beginnings of our advocacy and fierce love for Hermione. Even in the womb, we felt a strong sense of wanting to do right by her.
The information we found was not always reassuring or complimentary, and that was hard.
But I found blogs about the lived experience of Down Syndrome, and these proved a turning point.
And the thing that always brought me into focus were her scan pictures.
All I could see was a little button nose, and a profile that I recognised as my daughter. The picures became my anchor. I would look at them daily; tracing the outline of her mouth and nose.
One night I even had a dream where I saw Hermione and she did have Down Syndrome, and lots of thick, black hair. I woke up the next day with a sense of calm, and a deep feeling that Hermione did have Down Syndrome.
It's strange how your subconscious can sometimes hinder you, but also sometimes massively help you at the same time.
When Hermione was indeed, born with Down Syndrome, I remembered the photos and the dream, and I looked at her knowing that she'd guided me all the way through those uncertain weeks.
She has always held the power to take my breath away.
And she continues to show us the way.
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